It Clearly Cheats

I’ve had back to back victories with the Tau Empire against the Insane AI. I had them first as Space Marines on Frostbite River. I got myself off to a fast start but to be honest, leaving the AI setting on Insane was a mistake. I had no intention of fighting the Insane AI. I wanted to win, not struggle hard then die. But by the time I figured something was different, the game had already been won. I was marching in tier 3 and there was no stopping me. I capped and defended both slag deposits. I was not harassed in any meaningful way. They uncapped my critical location, but I took it right back, then marched across the river and uncapped both of theirs and started mashing their relic with missile artillery. Skyrays can’t take much punishment, but they can sure dish it out. I usually make 5 to 8 of them and trail them behind the battle line and let them unmercifully pound things into mush.

I did the exact same thing against Imperial Guard on Fallen City and they put up a bit more fight. But it came down to one Baneblade vs like 60 Sunfire Battlesuits and yeah. Then I had Hammerheads with the Fusion Blaster upgrade and they decimated any and eventually all structures. I had them knocking Valkyries out of the sky in a few hits. Like I said. Really nothing they did worked out. I had an answer, and I had it first.

I’m not sure what to make of all this. I’ve had runs if good luck against the Insane AI before, but never anything so disproportionately mine. I owned 60% of the battlefield from the get go, and only INCREASED control of the map. Yet I was SOUNDLY beaten in the resource department an average of my 26,500 to their 38,000 or more. That’s total resources, and in one game I HAD BOTH SLAG DEPOSITS aaaaaand I still got out gained in Power. How can this be?

I’ve come to the realization that the Insane AI cheats. It can’t win on its own fucking merits so it massively out gains regardless of actual points captured. I think that’s a tad silly. If you gave the AI a decent build order, maybe they wouldn’t have to cheat to be competitive. And I can’t even fathom what Dark Eldar will be like. They’re enough if a problem on Harder… sure, give them a great early economy and see how they spend it. I’ll give you one guess, and if the answer isn’t “Hellions” then we can’t be friends anymore.

It’s WAY past my bedtime. Goodnight.

Playlist: Benevolence And The Reckoning

Not sure what I was thinking here. I’m in a bit of a tumultuous state with my schedule and all. I’m doing great, but sometimes I get so reflective, internal, sad. I often look at my past and remember how good I had it. How hard it is now. SO it comes from that sort of place.

1. Imagine A Man – The Who
2. Now Or Never – Kenny Loggins
3. Eye In The Sky – The Alan Parsons Project
4. Paint It Black – The Rolling Stones
5. Whiskey In The Jar – Metallica
6. Ride Like The Wind – Christopher Cross
7. Carry On – Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young
8. Long Distance Runaround – Yes
9. Keep On Going – Fleetwood Mac
10. Walking On The Moon – The Police
11. Praying For Time – George Michael
12. While My Guitar Gently Weeps – The Beatles
13. Sacrifice – Elton John
14. In Your Room – The Bangles
15. Fragile – Sting
16. Same Old Lang Syne – Dan Fogelberg
17. The Sound Of Silence – Simon & Garfunkel

Ride Like The Wind – Christopher Cross

It is the night
My body’s weak
I’m on the run
No time to sleep
I’ve got to ride
Ride like the wind
To be free again

And I’ve got such a long way to go
To make it to the border of Mexico
So I’ll ride like the wind
Ride like the wind

I was born the sun of a lawless man
Always spoke my mind with a gun in my hand
Lived nine lives
Gunned down ten
Gonna ride like the wind

And I’ve got such a long way to go
To make it to the border of Mexico
So I’ll ride like the wind
Ride like the wind

Accused and tried and told to hang
I was nowhere in sight when the church bells rang
Never was the kind to do as I was told
Gonna ride like the wind before I get old

And I’ve got such a long way to go
To make it to the border of Mexico
So I’ll ride like the wind
Ride like the wind


I get a healthy dose of procedures on a daily basis, my being in a training program and all. It’s been fun, but at last, we’re down to our last day in the conference room. Personally, I’m going to be fine on the phone, because I enjoy helping people figure out their problems. It’s hard, because I had to learn how to operate all sorts of machines that I had never before known how to use. I’m now a deadly expert in drive thru equipment. I can find out what brand, model name frequency and other specifics of your individual headset configuration. Or do you use a belt pack? I could go on, because I was asked by my bosses to learn this material, and learn it good. So I put my best effort in to it, and produced a lot of extra resources which helped myself and others learn the material even faster. I fear for them, because they have no confidence in what they’re doing. You can’t act like a bafoon on the phone with people, you have to compose yourself, speak clearly, and get to the point without wasting everyone’s time.

We’ll be in the Exchange Queue to start, because people who call in there don’t have advanced issues and are usually just looking to swap broken equipment for working ones via mail. This takes the precision skill with the software platform they made us learn to use, because data entry can’t be fucked up. It HAS to be done right every time. Otherwise, you didn’t do your job right Honcho.

I have little doubt that I’ll catch on quickly, and I’m really looking to make a splash with those other DTOC guys. They’ve all been in there for months, years together, and I’m just getting started. I want to blow them away with me-power. I can’t wait to get on those phones and start hammering out some calls. That will be fucking awesome. I know I’m going to do great at this. There’s no hesitation. They gave me a month, I have done well.

I made that playlist and I’ve been listening to it like in a loop forever. I think I still like it. I can’t really NOT listen to it. It’s all really good music. Every song. And it has a rhythm and a flow. I do that with my playlists. I don’t just schlock some shit together and call it bamsauce. That’s not my way at all bro.

In other words, I like the Red Envy playlist

Down the road, I emailed a lady about an apartment I saw on Craigslist. Hopefully she gets back to me and I can go see the space. Maybe moving out sooner than later.


Bored done bones
Stiff cooked wood shakes
Stripped marrow core
Blanched stark in horror
Shelved laments
Canvas painted a muted hue
Adult intentions–
Being mired in clothes
Twig snap a crisp
Shift a fallen pale leaf
Sun kissed moments
Soured with regret
She breaks like–
A deadly storm.
Harbors frothing
My whole word boils–
Her name.
Tangential wandering
Steeped and packed with mud
Chortle away
The day, the night
Tomorrow or forever
His eyes are that blue
Yesterday the sun
I’ll dance the moon

Apocalyptic Thoughts

It’s a gaming and real life post. I’ve adapted my strategy yet again in the ongoing fray between Will and I. Recently the move has been towards plateauing around tier 2 and at least posing an offensive threat long before thinking about tier 3. It takes me a little longer to get into tier 2 and I don’t know why. I play poorly on the weekends when I get stoned all day. But even then, Will has some adjusting to do in order to compensate for my tier 2 push. I’ll scrap over middle ground, and only really intend to push when I sense he’s out of troops. Bases are easy to eat with Kroot Hounds.

Also, a new week is starting and I am hopeful that some change is going to be enacted as it pertains to my cohort of the largely indifferent. I choose to believe that good behavior is rewarded in this world, not bad. But I’m prepared for the alternatives. Whatever that looks like. I’m at the whims of chance, as are we all. I tend not to struggle too profoundly against my spot in the societal machine. I rather enjoy the privilege of having a spot in the first place. So here we are, at the end of one week and starting a fresh new one. I’m just pickled.

An Introspective Glimpse

I’m enjoying a Sunday without work and the related stresses. Franky though, I can’t say I’m at all struggling there. I’m doing quite well, and going above and beyond in most respects. I do this for my own reasons, not because I’m expecting some sort of dividend from my investment. The market is respect and the currency is effort. I’m rising stock, if those metaphorical circumstances maintain. I’m really only encumbered with my laundry, which is now down to 1 measly load per week. Nice. Efficiency is at a premium. My life in the most external of parameters is good. Arguably, the more internal this look becomes, the more unsettled landscape there is to behold. I my emotional consistency is in a turbid state between resolve and longing. I find no solace in others right now. There are hardly any who have garnered my respect, or would even know what to do with my respect if they had it.

It makes me stop and think that my little Fantasy Football League might be doomed because 3 of the people in it come from the stock of delinquent, giggly trainees. I think that even if they lose their jobs, nothing is preventing them from participating in the league. If they flake out entirely, I’ll find someone to replace them with before we draft. But other than that, I really have no acute worries. My bank account continues to go up as I get paid and don’t spend anything. I have enough money now to start thinking about a move out come mid August.

I found this check in template back from early 2013, when I was a lot more responsible about my mental health:

On a scale of 1 to 10 (1 = serious problem, 10 = not a problem), rate the following:

Emotional Health:                             8

Physical Depression Symptoms:     9

Physical Anxiety Symptoms:           10

Racing Thoughts:                              10

Depressed Thoughts:                        9

Self-Esteem:                                       10

Concentration:                                   9

Enthusiasm:                                       10

Charisma:                                           10

Motivation:                                        10

Paranoia / Fear / Anxiety:             10

Outlook / Hope:                              9

OVERALL:                                   9/10