Help Me Defeat the Rush

I hate the rush. I fucking hate it. There, I said it. And I find it utterly inexcusable to rush in a game like Age of Empires III, or any other LONG-TERM AGE PROGRESSION type game. Why HAVE the fucking age-up process if you rush in the first age and barley make it to the second one before your foe is economically crippled? Sorry, allow me to illuminate the cause-effect problem here:

Rush implies that you must pester, harass and otherwise micro-manage one to two troops and try and keep your opponent from ever getting started. Kill their resource gathering units. Kill the structures that generate resources, or disable them, or whatever. Keep them from ever getting stated. Win as soon as possible. Hmmm…

It’s like the nerds have all tried to keep their game times as short and similar in form and progression as their sexual encounters. BANG BANG BANG SPLURF. Dead noodle barf. I fucking hate this trend. I hate it. Hate it. HATE IT.

So, I treaty for up to 40 minutes to keep the fucking AI away, and when I can’t, I find out how to trick the AI into leaving me alone through a sneaky exploit. I don’t mm well, I have having to lean on moving and countering (known as “dancing”). It’s not why I play an RTS of the slow-progression genre.

So, if I’m playing Battle for Middle Earth II: Rise of the Witch King, I would be in a game that emphasizes early attacking. But it has no aging. It’s, build a shitty little base, and pound quickly with units. Hold ground with real live units, not towers, turrets and walls. Fight with mming and hero abilities and shit. All battle-line movement and contention, no technological emphasis. Some, but not an EMPHASIS. Why are you playing AOE III if your plan is to wipe out your opponent in under 4 minutes. WHY PLAY THAT GAME? GO PLAY SOMETHING ELSE LOSER. STOP FUCKING WITH MY GENRE.

I contend, that we should lean on the game’s design for how to best maximize the usefulness of the, uh… GAMEPLAY, and of the style that one can express through time and development of unique civilizations. Style is impossible when the objective is “kill them as fast as possible.” Style develops with tech tree choices, civilizational advantages and other factors that make MY style different from YOURS.

I want to FULLY meet you in the field of battle, when we are both cocked back and ready to pull the big fucking trigger. BAAAA BOOOOM! Right? Let’s have a fucking BATTLE Sanchita, I don’t want to kill your fucking villagers and leave you frustrated and bored. What’s the point of PLAYING if it isn’t FUN? Sweaty palm orgasm loser, go back to your basement and stop ruining my fun.

Fuck. I can’t believe I have to even bring this up. But just GO to AOE III Heaven and SEE what the strategies section is all about. Fucking insane. I learned nothing at all. I UNLEARNED useful ideas I already had. Sigh.

This doctrine applies most universally to RTS. Don’t rush. Just don’t. Go learn your game instead.

4 thoughts on “Help Me Defeat the Rush

  1. I used to play World of Warcraft and other RPG games, but I needed a lot more engagement and less repetition of similar tasks. In an RTS, the battle is always different from the one before. The pieces move differently, and random actions begin to change the course of the battle. I find it both educational, and fun.

    • When I got my most depressed, I played WoW every day, and got lost in that world. Just grinding too, not like I was endgaming. Leveling between 20 – 70. Over and over. It sort of soured me to the game now; just reminds me of how bad I used to feel when I played it. But flying mounts are still the best.

      • I totally understand that. I went through a phase like that, where I had no interest in gaming because I felt I had not the time to spend on it. Nor the desire to “waste” my time doing fun things. But the right game, in the right situation, in moderation, is a great tool to helping oneself feel better. For me, it’s about feeling like I’m responsible for my little colony, my troops, their movements, their orders… it’s all on me to tell them what to do, and to keep them safe, or send them to their meaningless deaths. But you’re right, we all have such different spins on it. Just depends on who you are, and how you are wired.

  2. It does it for me. It’s what I need, because most of the time, in real life, I am not in control of anything, EVEN the wacko-shit happening in my brain. So, It’s nice to have some clarity, and play a game like that. Puts my active mind into laser-focus.

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