Diablo True!

Blizzard Entertainment’s version aside (which was decent, but needed patches before it had any hope of endgame potential), the core of the game has remained the same, roughly, until 1.13 was released. It stopped there for some, but I was determined to see this game back to its grief-enduing, ridiculous, potion-slamming 1234-fests such LAN matches used to be. In my recent memory, you used to be able to die horribly in Hell mode, and thus was done so, many a time, and with glad hearts all the while.  Back then, nostalgically speaking, in the glory days of PUB NIGHT, we used to game for a long time, like, 10 hours straight or more, and into the morning. We’d just go from one to the next. BAM. BAM. With high-fructose corn syrup intakes enough to kill a partially already dead donkey. This digression serves the function of recalling that happy, yet, vulnerable feeling of walking into Diablo’s Throne-room, around 3 am, and slowly coming to realize that the things AROUND him are like six hundred times gooder then you… Aaaaannd I’m dead. Need better portals next time, farther from the fighting. I CAN’T HELP IT, THEY WAS RANGED SORCERERS AND SHIT. I TRIED. No, Morgan, you failed. Thanks Scooter, we wipe. WHAT GOOD ARE YOU MEATHEAD IF YOU CAN’T KILL 600 SORCERERS ON YOUR OWN!!??!! eat it. barbarians rule.

With no portal, so now we have to run naked all the way back and get killed again, and have to run back and then WHICH BODY? GUESS RAPIDLY! Aaaand I’m dead again. FML.

So it would go on, with appropriate levels of free-radical humor and voracious judgment and finally, blame. Ah, good times. In the end, these good times stopped, mostly because we were so elite and well- geared, that even when combined and placed under duress, we prevailed. We dominated, In fact. The game faded from interest, and entered a long dormancy falling prey to graphic irrelevancy.

I had a Diablo II Lord of Destruction Assassin named Venom during these times of plenty. I used the claws, and they ruled. I obliterated everything because of attack speed, and chance to hit procs like +5 Freezes Target, and Hit Blinds Target. They just stood there, and could do nothing as I shattered them, one by one, hurling Phoenix Strike and finishing it with Dragon Claw. Slam, 1, 2, 3, SLAM, 1, ,2, SLAM (Chain Lightning [2] shatters all the things frozen by Sphere of Ice [3]).

That character ceased to be. The original file, the sacred copy, was lost to an A: floppy disk malfunction. Gone forever.


The newest permutation is that, I wanted to see what class I could exploit to render an insidious flow of damage while still hanging tough with skills that help carnage-reign supreme. I came up with a couple ideas: Paladin, with shields and slamming people. Meh. Lot of talent tree points get wasted on stupid shit. Assassin, yes, fast. Druid, yes, very fast, and gross 2h damage when Fury and Lycenthropy are maxed. But Assassin, ah, your sweet sweet 1h sword speed kept calling out to me: make me a 4 socketed runeword weapon. I Indulged.


And Venarex was born:


BOOM. Now working her through SHEER COLD’S Perfect Drop Mod (with several other fantastic changes). Namely, Hell mode is AGAIN FUN AND RELEVANT. Even with the best gear possible, best uniques, best runewords, you better bring your fucking A game, and be ready to scramble, and for god sakes, the portals as backups… never… forget…




Buffed with in-class skills only and gear. Where is her attack? It’s gifted by a runeword Passion, and provides both +1 Zeal and +1 Berserk. When combined with skill bonuses from gear, she has level 13 Zeal and level 13 Berserk. You do the math. Let me know what you think. SWORD-AND-BOARD Assassin you say!?! Why yes sir. Thank you may I have another!?!? And we’re going to need that sort of school spirit where we’re going. Because Hell mode Act 2 (with PDM  installed, mind you) is basically impossible. Bugs win. They truly, truly win. KILL EVERY EGG QUICKLY. And hope you like being poisoned. Get used to everything being tinted green. Woot. Anyway, I look forward to having a substantive challenge again, as this modded Hell mode is really fucking hard to solo. Halp meh. I’m good, but I get OWNED on my own. OK. OWNED. Wid dis setup: 4srs.