Flowers

Even though I hate them, I still get why. I don’t happen to AGREE with why, but I get it.  Isn’t that love though? You have to be proactive, and re-woo her constantly or she’ll get bored and leave you. Sounds like a great dynamic.  I think the way we express love is really dumb. We overextend, then to be forced to retreat when the price is too high for stability, then struggle anew. Women, to love you endlessly seems beyond your comprehension. I’ve loved, LOVED 3 people in my mercurial little life. 3 distinct ways of loving, now no longer needed. I’m actually thinking of boarding up the whole place and abandoning this road for a while. What the fuck do I need love for? It’s a frightful mess of unexplained expectations and unrecognized feelings. I couldn’t have picked 3 worse fits. Each person I loved, without restraint or barricade. Instead of being loved back, I was scrutinized and found unworthy of being loved back. My definition is different that your piece of crap way of understanding love. So, goodbye to romance and the silliness of love. There’s no reason to think I’m going back to that zone anytime soon. So get it off my wagon, we’re already overloaded. And to my loves, who don’t give a shit what I have to say, I still love thee, though, I also don’t want thee back. Our lives are over. I’m never going to be with any of you again, and I’d rather it that way. In my opinion, love was a test that I passed, and you failed. You utterly failed to understand the depth and seriousness of the bond I tried to make with you. A “for life” bond that you threw out like a used condom. So, you fail. And as a result of your abysmal, selfish, brutal failing in this department, you are disqualified from my concern or worry. It’s a solid feeling, this whole “being over you” thing I’ve got working. I feel liberated, free. Free from your oppression, your ignorance, and perplexing yet different view of this world and it’s worth. How does it feel to be chucked into the nearest waste-bin like so many soggy bouquets? I’m spiteful because I have the right to be. You fucked me. I was left wanting. You are the quitter. When I wanted to try again, you wanted to fuck me in the ass. So, adieu. I’m through feeling for you. I’m long since done with caring. To extricate myself from your world would be a pleasure, so let’s divorce. Really, I have the Summary Dissolution paperwork prepared, so let’s get this over with. And woe to you who fall in with these pestilent serpents of love: they will choke the life out of your dreams and replace them with lies. Promise things that they have no intention of doing. Cheat, lie and betray your way to the next victim. Good luck out there. Sarcastically.

I’m not saying you are alone in the blame. But we’re not talking about how I fucked up today. We’re trying to hold you accountable. But you are a liar, and you take no personal responsibility for anything you do.

I do not feel I cheated but I do feel it wasn’t a good idea, wasn’t a good time, and that I shouldn’t have told you. I asked for a divorce before anything happened, but when you came home you acted as if I never asked.”

Right. Because that’s how the world works “I got permission to fuck other men, so I will.” Is that what you’re saying? That I knew what you were going to do and I was fine with it. After, in your dramatic fashion, told me you “just can’t do this anymore.” What choice did you leave me? Could I have said: NO WE’RE STILL MARRIED YOU HAVE TO STICK WITH ME REGARDLESS? If you wanted out, admit it, embrace it, and move the fuck on you coward. Regardless of what you think you “got permission” to do, the LAW doesn’t see it your way. What you did is called adultery, not OK sex with another guy while LEGALLY MARRIED TO SOMEONE ELSE. Sorry, I just don’t see how me saying ANYTHING gives you the right to cheat on me, irregardless of words I spoke. WE ARTE STILL MARRIED RIGHT THIS SECOND. And this makes you a delinquent to your marital responsibilities, and most definitely makes you a cheater in addition to several other undesirables. Embrace it Jax… you’re not going to get far if you just lie to yourself and make believe it was all OK and you did no wrong. You are what you’ve done. Spin it how you like for your own deluded purposes. I’ll have no belief in your story, because it is a self-serving lie to cover your ass for fear of being held accountable for your misconduct. IN THE EYES OF THE LAW. Not me. This is the state of California you owe an explanation to. Not that you will…

 

Wow. I’m so glad I have this blog where I can freely express my hair-brained theories and thoughts. Please don’t take me too seriously. I’m largely detached from this crisis. It just baffles me the way she can go around lying, living a fake life built on the foundations I helped establish. All of which have been quite abandoned, albeit. But whatever, it’s your life. Run it into the ground as you see fit. Live like an ignorant 23 year old does, blindly fumbling about for companionship but lost to the cause of self. Oh there’s so much more to say, but I’m tired of railing against the deaf, dumb and blind. It serves no gain other than my own, now indulged, is sated.

 

BOOM

 

I just dropped the fucking mic. How about that?

 

It’s my blog…

 

I DO WHAT I WANT, BITCH.

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