In the moments before my therapy I find myself aching with old pain. I feel like I’m not a very good man. There are things a person should do to be successful in life and I am struggling to do the minimum. I don’t think I will have a partner in my life. How could I ask someone to take on this burden? Who would want me, knowing they could get something better elsewhere? I need a someone who can love me and comfort me when I am suffering. I can sit here wishing for that, but it doesn’t ever address the core issues. They are somehow in me, and will be a barrier between me and the rest of the world.
I don’t really have much to say. I’m down. Words are hard to come by.
I’m going to go trudge through the emotion swamp. See you later.