I write to free myself of the burden of sorrow. And sometimes it presses me down hard and flat. And it’s all I can do to struggle against it and allow myself a breath. Sometimes there is no escaping it. The sadness comes and swallows me. I am immersed in the inconsolable thoughts of deep hurt and traumatic pain. I don’t exactly deserve this magnitude of emotion, but I can still deal it to myself regardless. It’s as constant as the sunrise, this disorder. You can expect there to be a down whenever there was an up. I sit here in the gathering dark and wonder about what kind of person I want to be. I hold my self in a respectful regard, while maintaining a leader’s ambition. I can be a great person, but it takes a lot of work to get it there.

I have a job interview tomorrow. First thing in the morning. I’m pretty excited about that. I get another chance to prove my value to another person and try to get hired. I really want to work. And keep at my successes with realistic goals that can be systematically achieved. Is it really all about the hurt I feel in the moment of anguish? I certainly hope not. Seems like a bad place to be making a decision. I’ve learned from hard mistakes and I am doing the best I can to carry on. It’s all I can really expect.

I hope this place continues to be as forgiving and open as it has been. I take solace in the act of casting my words out into the forever. Some how, these words will carry on somewhere, and be of use to someone. That completes the circuit. So to speak.

2 thoughts on “Lament

    • You were right! I rocked it so good they offered me the job! Hope all is well with you, and thanks for the blessings.

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