I’ve been given the absolute final “ok, you’re hired” message just a little while ago. Starting Monday the 23rd, I’m a full time employee, with benefits. I can’t tell you how happy I am to finally have a chance to get back on my two feet again, so to speak. It has been a struggle during the time in which I was building myself up in preparation for this day. I knew at some point I’d have a chance to shine, and so I have.
I’m feeling like being starkly honest with my interactions. I think if I can just manage to stay focused on my mental health journey, I will be rewarded with a happy independent life. I can support myself and enjoy the company of others. I hope to add new faces to my memory, and no doubt this shift will have its merits. I think getting out and learning a new skill will be refreshing and fun. Because I love to learn. I really do. And I like helping people solve their problems. Getting things done. Yes.
So I’m just going to lay it out there. I’m trying my best to be my own best self advocate. I’m doubling down on me. He said what?
I really believe that I have to put the past behind me and move on. I can’t live in the pain of yesterday. I’m too important. I’m worth more than that. That’s the sort of attitude I should have had a long time ago. But what I had was untenable, because it wasn’t based on a model of self care. That’s what I’ve changed. I’m going in the right direction. For sure.
I know why I am where I am. I have no one to blame but myself. I have learned some tough lessons, but that’s what makes me so awesome: I grow.