Beneath Tired

I’m wondering if we relish things we used to take for granted, when reminded. I remember having a belief that love was ironclad. That it could not be questioned because of its strength. But this was a flawed and useless way of thinking. I’d turn my attention to a most recent departure from my previous state. Change has taken place, change continues its work every new day. I’m inspired. And also driven to lead. Today I generated trivia questions for the class to answer. I typed out all my notes and sent them to my supervisor for review. I’m boldly going where no one else can. To the top. Because there is only one.

Projecting a bit into the foreseeable future: I imagine becoming part of a fully functional and highly dynamic team environment. I see how those guys just handle themselves. I’m going to have to go out there and listen to them sometime. See what they have to say. I’m going to be learning more and more each day. I feel exhausted in my mind at the end of a full eight hours of training. It seems to me that some of my fellow employees aren’t on the same page as I am. I can’t really relate to anyone there except my boss. Which is good and bad. He seems like a neat enough guy. I don’t know all that much about him, to be honest. I hope he has a favorite student and I hope it’s me.

I’m determined to live healthy. So I’m waking up at 5 am every morning so I can go walk around the park four times. I need the exercise and all I do all day is sit. But it’s HARD to motivate to do that though. Really. I’m so fucking groggy and out of it that it gets to be hard to perform the task. But drinking a ton of coffee and then exercise is not a great idea. Unless you like to barf.

All in all, I’m excelling. And for myself this time.