I try to keep my thoughts realistic, but there are times I suffer being solitary. I find I don’t have a lot to talk about with most people. My conceptualizations and ideas are not often the subject matter in question. Instead of compromise my standards in order to interact, I stay silent. In my attempts to reach-out to others, I give myself enough reasons to internalize.
It’s hard having unwavering standards. Even in the face of isolation, I still know better than to indulge common people for whatever sort of relationship could be garnered. Nothing lasting or meaningful ever got its start that way. Trust, respect, and understanding are skills lost to this generation. My peers are content with mediocrity, when I strive for more.
I just need to accept being alone. It is the way I have endured for most of my life, and it has had both good and bad moments. Whatever the short-term consequences of feeling sadness may temporarily distract, the inclination to continue doing things my way is overwhelming. I can’t reconcile feeling alone, because that’s just how it should be right now. It’s a bitter pill, because it’s hard up front and only pays off after a great deal of time goes by. I should be aware that though this sadness may be of my own making, I still accept the essentiality of its presence. For better or worse, I’m here with it.