I’m stuck in a land of quiet disbelief. My hand is shaking from the terror of your reckoning. You brought down the big hammer and won the day. I was left no bones to your contentious judgement. Precarious want is the only desire remaining. And for a better run do the others wait. I’m not so easily lured for a second try, but the advancement if the blame remains.
I long for a better release. But my short term preoccupations make not for a full blown mandate. I’m knowingly unready for the precarious fate that would surely await me. A roller-coaster I’d rather not ride. The nature of the thing has been flawed each time I’ve ridden it. And while not squarely in my doing, I have had my share of blame. Times spent making sad excuses for the behavior of another. How much life did I spend pursuing a malignant variety of love? I do believe I’ve lost count of the travesty and done away with the debacle. It’s now on some other circumstance to make it right.
I’m lost in a sea of mismatching puzzle pieces. I’m not looking to have the answer sorted out just yet. But I know soon I’ll be there.
I have to forget my heartache and soldier on much as I have for these new days. I don’t particularly have a choice. Do I?