Portrait Of Authority

I have begun averaging well above where they are asking me to be. As usual, I’m rising to the challenge presented. I find the subject matter to be difficult, because each new call is a new set of problems. I’m applying what little knowledge I have in this area and learning the rest on the fly. Really, more often than not, I find people to be totally agreeable and happy to at last be talking to SOMEONE. Because most wait times are more than reasonable, bordering on outrageous. They’re training new hires, but it will be weeks before we get the relief. It’s most likely a full week more of billing.

Though I’m doing super good. My boss Mike has made my corner desk the new hangout area. Perched on my cubicle wall, they look at me at my desk like I was the centerpiece of the exhibit. I adore the attention, but wonder what these other guys have been doing. I doubt they’re as busy as I am with the sheer volume of calls I take. Today I found out we have goal numbers we need to hit, called metrics. DTOC queued agents should be averaging 4 per hour. I don’t think that’s unreasonable. It’s 32 calls per shift. It’s not a realistic number for most guys to try and make. I think the seasoned vets could do this just fine, it’s all these fresh faces. The goober managed less than 5 calls today, and he asked for top-to-bottom resolutions from most every other agent. This might actually qualify as the opposite of work. He’s making a hole in the office, where he and whoever he preoccupies with his help requests try to sort out the problem he can’t solve by himself. It’s bad news. And I don’t sense he’s learning or growing as he gets more experience. Who fucking knows.

My world is replete with emotions. I am feeling so starkly alone, so without peers. It’s like at work, I have the respect and admiration of my bosses, but not my peers. Perhaps this is a good thing.

Though I feel empty with fond memories of love. A thing that was a part of my every moment not more than five months ago. In that time, a lot has changed, but the emptiness of losing that love still scrapes at me. I find myself pondering why I’m doing this with my life, why I chose to go this direction? I’m sometimes mystified by life’s unexpected turns. I’m just tired of being lonely. But I have a lot more loneliness left to go.

Goodnight travelers.