I’m being proactive about companionship. It’s not healthy to isolate away from the world. Ultimately, I still have my life to lead, and I don’t want to force myself to not enjoy it. Which I guess some part of me says that I should cut myself off from people because it’s my punishment for fucking up my last relationship. That isn’t a strong argument in the long run. I can punch holes in it with logic, fact. But it still hurts to think about having to move on and that I’ll never have back what I had. But progress is somewhat inevitable, and I’m inching my way along a path to success. I don’t expect things to miraculously change. The passage of time can either weigh on you, or propel you onward. It’s hard to just go out there and never expect anything to happen, and that was the real problem with my isolation. I’m in no need of a relationship or even an answer to my myriad thoughts on the subject. I’m making the effort to try, and that helps me feel good about my lot. Like I said, I don’t need there to be change. I do need to have hope that this effort I put into getting to know people will not be utterly wasted.