For What It’s Worth

by in Mental Illness, Status Updates and tagged , , , , , , , , , , ,

I’m being proactive about companionship. It’s not healthy to isolate away from the world. Ultimately, I still have my life to lead, and I don’t want to force myself to not enjoy it. Which I guess some part of me says that I should cut myself off from people because it’s my punishment for fucking up my last relationship. That isn’t a strong argument in the long run. I can punch holes in it with logic, fact. But it still hurts to think about having to move on and that I’ll never have back what I had. But progress is somewhat inevitable, and I’m inching my way along a path to success. I don’t expect things to miraculously change. The passage of time can either weigh on you, or propel you onward. It’s hard to just go out there and never expect anything to happen, and that was the real problem with my isolation. I’m in no need of a relationship or even an answer to my myriad thoughts on the subject. I’m making the effort to try, and that helps me feel good about my lot. Like I said, I don’t need there to be change. I do need to have hope that this effort I put into getting to know people will not be utterly wasted.

4 thoughts on “For What It’s Worth”

  1. I love the title of your blog. I undergo periods i can’t stand to see literally anyone. I used to fight it and go out and then i ended up feeling even worse. Now i put a self-imposed limit to my time of isolation: one week. After that i usually also run out of food so i am out anyway. I admire your tries to meet people. My advice is to do what feel best for you and not to follow the mass psychology distributed on the net. We are different than them but that doesn’t mean we can’t live fullfilling lives.

    • Thanks for the fantastic compliment. I hear what you are saying, and I know sometimes we have similar stories. It’s hard to fight, and sometimes it’s not possible to fight without help. I struggle because I don’t want to be stuck in a life I don’t enjoy, or regret somehow. It’s fundamental to my progress as a person to challenge my surroundings, expand my circle, and live as best I can with the time I have left. Time I have tried to deprive myself of more than once.

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