I’m having a really fantastic conversation with a stunningly beautiful woman right now. It’s been really open, straightforward, and honest. I’m not at all inhibited, as we pretty much are going through the exact same life event – a start from zero in life. I’m so stunned that I’m even talking to this wonderful person, boy, and I mean WONDERFUL. I just feel like we already have so many things in common. I bet I could play the song lyrics game with her that I play with Mike at work. Did I mention that things at work are going really well there also? Yes? I’m on Google Chat with Mike sending him song lyrics, and awaiting his reply of the next line. So far, I’ve only nabbed him on one, but that will change when I get into knowing what music he listens to. So far though, WE have a lot in common. Hence my arrival on the late shift. He wants to hang with me! I feel like, because I found my confidence, that people are coming to me in the universe and realizing I shine brightly, and I want to spread warmth to all the moth-people who come to see me. La la la la!
Ok really though. I have pride, confidence, and I have begun to establish my life over again, and that’s fucking rad. I hung out with the boys tonight too at Wing Stop like I said I was gonna. And I did, and we cracked jokes, and had a laugh about this and that, and all the weird shit we go through on the phones. We have to have a sense of humor about it, right? Or else, I bet you’re going to fucking hate your job. I’m elated though guys! I’ve met someone really neat, and she seems at least willing to listen to my arbitrary story that is so much liker hers it’s freaky-weird. I really like talking with her. Boy is it refreshing to be just straight dope with someone. I bet we have no tolerance for ze bullshit. She’s clean of thought, concise with her words, intelligent! Very bright, and an ideas thinker-type. I can tell she has the curiosity, and she has it good. That’s just so unbelievably attractive. I mean, a smart CURIOUS girl? No, seriously, sit down.
I don’t know what to say blog. I told her I am mentally ill, and I told her about Jax and the whole sad little way it went down. Hopefully I am not immediately rejected like I have been in the past. But blog, I want you to know, that no matter what happens at this point, my faith in chance and finding the right sort of person is possible, and achievable, and even these steps of measured success, I have a restored belief that if not now, eventually. That I will not have to be alone anymore; that my feelings of emptiness and solitude might have a chance to be recognized and appreciated, and a little fire may start in me again like it did such a long time ago. I have hope again blog! And I’m happy to have come as fat as I have with her, because I’ve enjoyed every minute of it, and it was on my mind while I went to work all day and kicked ass. I tried my best to touch base with her through the day, it’s been really charming and fun. I don’t know what else to say, it’s Friday night and I intend to hang around and have fun with my night. FUCK YES WEEKEND BITCHES!