I’m having a rough day emotionally. I’m sad deep down in my core and I don’t know what to do about it. The feeling is just generic sadness draping over my day like a cold wet blanket. I imagine being at work and doing my responsibilities will help that feeling dissipate. But today is half over for me. And the slower half is coming up. So I should have some time in the 5:00 hour to sing some and lift my spirits. After 5:00, basically everyone goes home and I stay till 6:00 when my shift ends. So that last hour I have the whole room to myself, pretty much. I could use a puck-me-up today. For sure.
3:00 update: I’m a little bored but doing ok. I feel like my whole life is an exercise in patience. I keep having these upwelling feelings, and they get to me sometimes. But isn’t that typical? I have therapy tomorrow, and generally, don’t have much to go over with Margaret. She helped me see that my sadness over Jax was misplaced, and so I progressed beyond a state of mourning to acceptance. Where I am doing better overall. I don’t feel abused like I had. I feel responsible and aware. I’m just trying to move along my life-road. It’s not easy, but things worth having are always attainable. Time to get back in there and put my head down. Sigh.