Any Contact

I’ve been going out and doing things blog. Angi my dear friend from high school is visiting California (from Italy) for 2 months. Holy shit right? I have to take advantage of that, because Angi is awesome, fun and a great person. We have lots of hilarious memories together, way back when things were easier, different. Well whatever it was, we were in drama class together room 262. And we did that for two years I think, possibly 3. I get a little fuzzed out over time, but that’s fine. So that news is exciting.

And to top that, I am going on a sorta date Saturday with a new friend I met through OkCupid. I may have mentioned my correspondence friend Sara. I have had several, a Saskia who stopped writing me back, a Julia who did the same, but Sara has always kept me engaged, and I her, and we make each other laugh quite a bit, and both like football and have been gabbing about that. So things are getting good in my social life, which is a really huge part of my recovery. If I’m ever going to be a functional human again, I need friends, interests, activities, hobbies, and whatnot. I need these things to be a full human being, and I want them desperately, to be understood and to share something with someone. I’m not prepared to go making a relationship out of this, because how could I? I don’t even have my own place. Fuck I have not even revealed to Sara that I’m Bipolar. And I should, if things were to get really serious, but for now we can be friends who have a lot of things in common and enjoy talking. She works in management in the medical research field. Holy shit, right? So she’s super engaging and fun to talk with. And we’ve had an ongoing conversation for a few weeks it feels like. 11 days, to be exact.

Well I’m growing a social life blog, and I’m sure happy about it. I got myself moved across the room near to mike and next to some really cool guys: Oscar sits behind me, on the same bench as I am. Across from me is Reggie B, who I don’t know very well, but seems to be pretty cool. Ryan is across from me, and I know him from billing training. I’m good with people’s names and whatnot. There’s another Reggie (A) on the other side of the divider from me, but he handles Mbox calls all day and I would have no reason to ask me (or I him) a question. But we might end up chatting anyway, eventually. I feel like I really need to go in there, in to the fucking lions den of experience, and prove myself. I am the rookie, the newb, the sheep among the wolves. And yet, when Ryan gets stuck in billing, he asks ME what to do, and I know the answer and help him. Oscar is a drive thru vet, and nothing slips by him. He caught one of my orders that had a bad part number (though I had no idea we didn’t use that part number anymore, it was on my sheet and that sheet is my legit source of part numbers). But that’s like the only thing I’ve fucked up lately. I got in a bad way over something that got said to a rep from Ikea US West. I told them they were delinquent (which they were), and I was supposed to keep that a secret from them, which I did not know. And they took what I said and spun it hyper-insane-explosion of bad. Big company meeting. Fucked story. So I learned never to tell a premier client that they haven’t paid their balance in a long, long time. Because that’s corporate’s job, not mine.

So it’s Friday blog, with an eventful day tomorrow. After I meet Sara, I’m going to see an apartment in Spring Valley, which seems like a really nice place and I’ve already made friends with the property manager Ken. $775 is in my range, for sure. And I should really push for something soon since I found out the Uncle Mike roommate thing is officially dead. He wants to be alone for his divorce, which I get. But it’s a shame, because that would have been a rock solid chance at stability. He could have looked out for me too, but now I will have to harden myself and do that for myself. I like having a security blanket, but I MUST learn to stand on my own, and be my own safety net. If need be. I MUST prove this to myself, as it is the imperative of my recovery project. So I shall, and rise to the occasion I will, and be proud as well. I’m having a happy, reflective, eventful time in my life blog. Thanks for being here through the really rough times, as well as the soft cushy times like these. Things are looking good. Happy Friday.