So Tired

I’m exhausted after a 44 call day. Considering my metrics say I should be at 32. I’m above the curve. But it takes a physical toll on me, as I’ve been home for all of 30 minutes and I’m already in bed. Blog, I just got so tired today. I was busy, mind you, but achy from the move and yawning constantly. My eyes were heavy from the very moment my shift started, and I think I know what happened. I may have accidentally taken my Doxepin instead of my Buproprion this morning. Which would account for the seemingly insurmountable fatigue which haunted my actions all day. But I was busy. No doubt of that.

You’re all thinking: three posts in one day? Has this boy lost his mind? Possibly. But truly I am just feeling like sharing. My days have become considerably more lonesome as my parents will only be here in this city for a few more days. I used to come home to their faces at night, and I would tell them all about my day. Now I have no one to talk to. Except you. So here we are, as one-dimensional as this can be, I still take solace in writing. It’s always been a special medium for me. And even if I don’t have a real human person to talk with every day, I still have you.

Hang in there with me as I comprehend my loneliness and do combat with its sometimes acute symptoms. I’m here in my snuggy bed all covered up and content. These cool fall nights are wonderful. The air here in Spring Valley is so fresh up on the hill. Above the stench of industry and roadways. Back at the RV ranch we were right next to a busy street, so road grease and tar dust built up on every conceivable surface, including me. Here though, the air is rich and clean, the horizon is low, and blinking with happy little city lights, just as the last pale red glow of sunset filters out the sky. It’s hard to stop and enjoy when you’re beat-down tired as I am. But it’s all there for me, and I’m not going to “miss out” because this is my new everyday. Blog, I’m just so pleased with the result of all this effort. I worked so hard to get back to having an independent life, and look where we are now! From shiftless loser living in a tent to grand magistrate of consistency abiding in a palace of solitude.

I make a bigger deal out of things than is necessary. But I’m glad to be where I am. Even if I do get carried away for good or ill. My highs are astronomical, my lows are abysmal. Think I might have bipolar disorder much?

Have a good night blog. Happy living. See you tomorrow.