I could be miserable, but I’m not going to let myself feel that way. I have some say in the matter when last I checked. And I have been struggling with feelings for the last day, but it happens and that’s ok. I have a choice, and I can decide to take it easy on myself, or, find a way to make my situation somehow unbearable. I may be lonely, but it’s not a sensation that will command my actions or determine much of anything. I’m choosing to rest because my body is asking for it. My feet are tired and my boring disposition does not have to reflect a declining mood. I had fun today, got to go walk around outside, take in the air, and do one of my favorite activities. One that I took advantage of while my rockhounding buddy is still in town. Eventually they’ll be on the road and I will have to inspire my own adventures.

And I am playing Diablo II again with the perfect drop mod, which is not as lame as it sounds. Rares drop infrequently and you might only expect a unique item off a named mob, sometimes an elite mob or ghostly or whatever nomenclature that distinguishes it from the trash. It grants experience at a rate comparable to the level cap as the end result of beating the game in hell mode, so there’s actually a decent chance of successfully leveling up into the high 80s, thereby granting use of some of the game’s finest equipment. I always hated how the game would become impossibly hard and there was no chance EVER of completing a set off the weak-ass boss drops. Sets are just so rad, and to actually play a version of the game where picking up the elements on the drop becomes a reality is the best ever (slight exaggeration). I love that. I’m not going to, but if I wanted some pre expansion set, all is have to do is grind. This game keeps the fundamentals intact, and makes item drops exciting again. Hooray for that.

Blog, I also find writing to you to be helpful. I get all these words piled up in my head and sometimes I just don’t know what to do with them all. I can get lost interpreting them negatively, and that can lead to a rapid decline in mood. But today I did a fun, and I just now called my mom to thank her for taking me rock collecting. I wanted her to know that I had a good time. Which is all try and should be reiterated as often as possible. I really do think I just needed that one extra day to not have to go grind my face off at work, to be able to sit back for a bit and let myself refill with energy. Blog, I feel fine, and even now, I’m excited to get back to work. I’m starting out my first day as a real employee now, not just a temp. I’m certified. I feel just so awesome about that.

So I’m in bed a bit early, but I’ve already eaten dinner and taken my nighttime meds. I know all my body is asking for is tranquility and rest, which I am only too happy to oblige. I want you to know that I’m going to be fine, and my spirit is lifting, and the rain clouds are passing by. I’ve got a ton to look forward to out here. My life is in the best way it’s been in years. I have a loving family, a solid support structure to catch me if I were to fall, and a sense of worth I haven’t had for years. I took the broken bits of my life, gathered them up, and glued my leg statue lamp back together again. It’s a major award you know?

Have a fantastic Saturday night doing whatever makes you smile. It’s a little early for A Christmas Story jokes, but I couldn’t resist.