Not that I’m “in the market” for one of these, but for my own reasons, I’ve decided to articulate my lofty expectations if there were ever to be one. Why? And not certainly because I deserve anyone like this (nor would this fantastic person EVER want to be in a relationship with me). It’s not about articulating a reality, it’s about expressing the things I have learned I will need in order to ever do it again. This slim chance is still a chance, and anything is totally possible… but it would take a set of extreme circumstances to unfold and become realized. I have a list. And believe me, I practice what I preach:
1. Be mindful. The greatest gift you have is being aware, and being able to reflect on yourself. Your mindfulness keeps you from rushing to judgement, and keeps us from escalating our disconnects into fights. You are observant and respectful of your feelings, and you articulate them precisely, and without context, so that I too can see what you’re feeling, and respond appropriately.
2. You’re realistic, with your head firmly in this reality. You don’t expect lofty dreams to come true without a great sum of labor. You are a practical thinker, with your mind defaulting to a more thought-out less rambunctious mentality. Your actions are accordingly predictable, and you find joy in stability and consistency.
3. You are aware of the value of trust, and respect. These two things typify your interactions with others, and you seek to build these two elements in all relationships that have value in your life. You don’t condescend, you corroborate. Working with you is being on a team with an equal, and you both deserve and dispense these two virtues.
4. You are intelligent, and more importantly, curious. Your ambition is only rivaled by your love of knowledge; the pursuit of understanding. You are not satisfied with common beliefs, and seek a personal truth to your existence. Your qualities are emphasized by your observational, rational mentality. As a result, your keen understanding of your world reflects in the thought-out actions you take. Your mind is never sated, you pursue answers regardless of the difficulty in understanding them.
5. You are trustworthy, not a cheat, or a liar, and you detest these things as they have no place in or near your moral compass. You have a good heart, and it is not in your nature to deceive, as this brings you guilt, not satisfaction. You are, rightfully, appalled by most people and consider yourself apart from them in most all aspects of how you conduct yourself through the world.
6. You understand the value and commitment of love. To you, love is a sacred bond between two people that is not at stake in every fight, and not a bargaining chip. You respect love as the core expression of both appreciation and desire, and you are aware that without maintenance, love will grow cold and become dormant. Love is not passion and it is certainly not driven by lust or attraction. Love is a compromise of the soul, a merging of essences, a mutual prerogative. Love is not to be created in haste, and takes an act of deliberate treason to abolish. Love is made stronger by openness, trust and grows with respect and patience.
7. You know who you are, and you are proud of that person. Your opinions may not matter to anyone else, but because they are yours, they are the most precious of all. You respect your mind and your body. You do not wish ill upon yourself, even though you sometimes doubt, the core of who you are is never in jeopardy of being forgotten. You know yourself, and you aspire to be the best “you” you can be.
If you’re out there, I’d sure like to hear from you. It’s only 7 virtues long, but you would be the only person I’m still looking for in this world. I don’t expect to find you, mostly because it’s hopeless to look, and I have nothing to offer you in return that would compare to the sort of person you would have to be. But a boy can dream.