I never really thought I’d come to lean on this blog the way I am. In my bland little life, this place has remained my solace, a historical document that transcends its original intent. I thought: “well, I’ll make a post every once and a while and try and keep up with it.” But what I did not know is how important writing out my thoughts was going to become in my mental health journey. When no one is around to hear me, I still have a chance to express myself (however flawed, delusional or otherwise off-base) without inhibition. This process, and my commitment to being honest, have been an unforeseen aid in a deep and perturbing history of doing battle with my mental illness. I have tried (and failed) to be honest with you, and I continue to pursue that goal. What good is this place as a therapeutic tool if I don’t at least try to be real with myself? I gain nothing by puffing myself up on lies. Lately, I’ve escalated the use of this blog as a live streaming literary documentary encapsulating my demise, and subsequent reconstruction from the rubble of my former reality. I’ve worked SO VERY HARD, and have real tangible rewards in (namely) freedom. I’m going to continue using this place to help me through this new chapter in my life, of which I am very proud. I don’t have an easy road, but it’s mine and I wouldn’t trade it for anything.
500+ followers over the last few years says a lot. I’m clearly not full of shit or otherwise hoping you’ll participate in my delusion. My life can be hard, unrelenting, ugly, even. But I own it, every mercurial step of it. So from the bottom of my cold, dead heart, I thank you all for choosing to be here with me. I’ve got nothing to give you but my insane, unfiltered life. I guess it must be worth watching. You keep following, more and more as the days go by.
Thanks again. And be well, travelers.