The Night Noise

I’m off work (yay) and doing super. It was a productive day at work, with a few snarly problems to sort through, but nothing I couldn’t handle. And more stuff learned that I did not really know before, but the contents of which would thoroughly bore you and also make no sense out of context. Point being: I had another day where I worked hard, put up good numbers, and had no one screaming at me about this or that. It was a belt-notch day. I indulged and had a terrible lunch, because I woke up late (again) and did not prepare one for myself. I need to go shopping, but will probably put it off until Saturday after work. THAT’S RIGHT, work on Saturday, all overtime. And it’s cake, as we’re just training on new systems we support, and how to fuck with them and get them working when they fail.

I’ve been having some really fun conversations, both here on WordPress, but also with Jacqueline, who usually has some time at work (like I do) to chitter chat about things. We’re trying to arrange a meeting, which would be fun if she came over on Sunday because we could both have fun watching football. YES. And did I mention that I’m 7-1, and in first place in my work fantasy league? Not bad I say. Next nearest guy is 2 games back. The 1 seed is clearly mine to lose.

I’m also glad to report a huge shift in thinking. I’m really not at all interested in going back to my past anymore, I mean, what the hell good is it doing me to dwell on things that will never change? I’m through with this unnecessary suffering nonsense. I’m resolved to improve as a person, and the best way to do that is to get up and move on. And So we will! No more depressing posts about memories and other such useless garbage. The future is nigh!

And on that note, I’m on a roll, and really actually enjoying not living outside my parent’s RV anymore (believe it or not). Even the loss of constant human contact has not been able to phase me. I still get lots of words thrown at me everyday, I have the internet and my little iPhone which manages all my social connections. I’m trying to be active to keep myself from stagnating. It is my hope that this somewhat 4G dependent connectivity is enough to keep me happy.

I’m doing fine though blog, really. I must keep putting one foot in front of the other for many consecutive days. It is on me to be a good steward of my life, and that is precisely what I intend to do.

P.S.

We’re having a live band come to the office tomorrow to blow our minds with some wild rock. I know. What the hell is a live band doing at an office (and a call center at that)? Beats me guys. I just know it’s happening, and we’re all invited. I also know Halloween is going to be a monkey mess, with little kids coming to trick-or-treat. I mean, WHAT? Is this my work, or insane party town?

So this is the end of my productive days and likely the beginning of the circus. Weeeeee!!!

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4 thoughts on “The Night Noise

  1. I’m glad you have set your mind to looking forward and not backwards. I am currently struggling with this myself. Like literally I have been having battles in my mind over this. I know that the past is the past, but I do not know how to stop looking at it. If I am being completely (and embarrassingly) honest part of me likes living in the past. I guess because I am used to being the victim. I do not know how to rise above it completely. I mean I have sort of, but I still get lost in it. I don’t know if any of this makes sense (rambling is the name of my blog for a reason!). Anyway, have a great night! I really am glad that you are feeling good!

    • Looking beyond my mistskes and shortcomings of the past has got to be the single hardest mental challenge I have self-imposed. I mean, we can never just “un-remember” something that happened. It’s always going to be there in some capacity. My only perogative in this new way I’m dealing with my painful memories has been to remember only what I learned from it, not how it makes me feel, or what it reminds me of or anything like that. I still want the benefit of knowing how to avoid pain for the future, so I hang on to the lessons, and discard the suffering. It’s not like I have this all figured out yet. This is experimental, but I promise that I will try my hardest to do what I say. I officially challenge myself to a better life. But it won’t be easy…

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