Familiarity

Hello and good evening to you. I made a rather remarkable observation just now as I was doing the last several things I do before I get into bed: I turn my computer off, use my left hand to turn my desk lamp off, and plunge my domicile into complete darkness. But it only lasts 1 second, because when my monitor shuts off after the computer has, the screen’s backlight comes on, and the glow of it makes my room visible in a very faint way. In this brief illuminated moment, I reach out with my left hand and click the fan at by my footboard on, which has a blue LED on it which sends new light in all directions. With eyesight restored, I click the fan into high mode, which sets off two more LED lights. I take one last look at where I am about to walk in total darkness, and try to remember it when I click the fan’s LEDs off. I walk three steps, reach out with my left hand and touch the top of the metal knob at the end of my footboard, pull my shirt off directly over my head, take one more short step, and remove my pants. Then I sit, facing right, and while still in total darkness, I lay down on my bed. I pull the covers over me with my right hand, and then reach out into the empty space directly across from my pillow, and grab this iPhone to make a blog post. I’ve done this series of things enough times to have created some kind of permanent mark on my brain, which has become accustomed to these nightly actions. I feel almost overjoyed by this revelation. Frankly, being severely bipolar, it’s nothing but a relief to find myself arrived in a routine. Stability is my most precious commodity, and to have it makes me feel like a new person all over again. There have been many times where my emotions or some mental unrest has caused me vacillate between extremes. I have hoped something like this would transpire, and leave an indelibly positive mark on me. I can’t tell you how happy this little pattern makes me feel about all the work I have done up to this point. I just had to come out here and share that feeling. It’s the greatest thing a mercurial fellow such as myself can ever hope for. Goodnight.

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One thought on “Familiarity

  1. Pingback: 8 Days A Week | Neurochemically Challenged

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