On a scale of 1 to 10 (1 = serious problem, 10 = not a problem), rate the following:
Emotional Health: 9
Physical Depression Symptoms: 9
Physical Anxiety Symptoms: 10
Racing Thoughts: 10
Depressed Thoughts: 9
Paranoia / Fear / Anxiety: 10
Outlook / Hope: 10
It’s amazing the difference a little self-care can make. I have a new haircut, self administered, a new trimmed goatee, and nice neat nails. I took a shower (to get all the hair off me) and brushed my teeth for good measure. I feel fresh, fuzzy and good.
I’m learning how to be better about taking care of my body in all ways. I have been largely delinquent in this responsibility in the past. But that trend is changing. Did you know I had bitten my nails since I was a kid? No joke. I have, within the last 2 months, completely stopped. I use a nail trimmer, shocker. My point is that bad habits don’t get to linger in my life anymore. I’m doing positive things, not destructive things. Even as minor as biting my nails is in the grand scheme of things, I still don’t want to perpetuate bad behaviors. It’s a microcosm of my journey as it stands now.
Work has been super busy. I’ve handled dozens of calls from the billing side of my job, and hardly any technical support. It’s not fair, but it is what it is. The billing side is ten times more involved than any other thing I do, and ends in more reprimand than reward. I rarely see a problem through to its end. That can be frustrating. But I still go in there with a high level of enthusiasm regardless. If there’s one thing I can control, it’s my attitude.
My week nights are pretty dull. I get home, slip into some jammies, eat a dinner, then bed. My mornings have become somewhat longer because I find the new meds make it harder to get up. But I’ve been suspecting that this is not a symptom, but a general mental unwillingness to start my day.
I work Saturday for four hours. We’re training on 2 new systems for the drive thru side of my job. Sadly, I take so few drive thru calls that this training is largely wasted on me. I will retain the information, but have few opportunities to use it. I’m not complaining, just stating the facts as I see them. But I’m, overall, doing fine. I have been feeling uplifted and enthusiastic despite a lot of added stress. Things are moving right along. And I’m content.