Most

Today is Monday, and I don’t feel weighed down by that. I feel somewhat excited to go in there and get after it. This is the week that I will have a 5 am Saturday shift, where I open the whole place and log in as the only call agent in the whole DTOC for more than an hour. Then some other people come in and help me out, but the show is mine to lead things off. I’m looking forward to that. As strange as that may sound. I really do like my job, and have no reason to begrudge an extra shift. It’s a short week with Thanksgiving on Thursday.

This weekend’s isolation test was a huge success. I did great, and feel much better than I had in previous solitary outings. I did not get sad, or even bored really. There was something to do pretty much the whole way through, and never once did I step back and become sad or otherwise depressed. My med change must really be working, because I’m enjoying a really extraordinary level of stability. Maybe part of that is my cognitive processes, and my diligence about not letting them deteriorate into badness. I had plenty of chances or excuses to feel bad, but I didn’t take any of them. I went about my business unperturbed, and found relaxation and rest as my rewards. I feel fully recharged, and ready to tackle another week.

I am dealing with the remnants of my cold, which has left me with some minor nasal congestion and a bit of a cough, which should fade as I carpet-bomb my immune system with vitamin c. I only had about 12 of these 1000 mg pills in the bottle, and since Wednesday night I’ve taken all but 4 of them.

This week my parents are coming back to town. They are bringing my little sister with them in the RV. There will be a big family gathering at my Uncle’s house for the feast, and I’m really looking forward to it. My dad’s family is just so rad. We had, in the past, held thanksgiving with my mom’s family, but it was never any fun, and has recently become a playground of destruction. That side of the family actually disdains each other, visibly, and they don’t know how to have fun together. It’s usually a total fucking nightmare. But none of that for this year.

I look forward to my friend Will returning home, after living in Northern California and Oregon over the last 2 years. He will be back in town for Thanksgiving, and it will be good to see him again and catch up on all the things we’ve been doing over the last few years. He was there for part of Jax and mine’s more argumentative past. Not a great way to treat a guest, methinks.

On a tangential note: I finally got some decent sleep last night. It seems like the nights that I dream a lot, I don’t really rest well. I woke up at 1 am to get some water and have a pee, but then I was right back to sleep for at least four more hours. Quiet, unperturbed torpor. And I’m thankful for that. It really sucks to dream about negative things. I’ve had a few vivid dreams that have had me thinking about all sorts of strange things. I don’t know if that’s a universal truth. I do nevertheless prefer dreamless sleep.

I’m here in the few moments I have left before work. I feel pretty good, for a sick guy. This week is a short one, and also quite full of activity and family. It will be refreshing to be around all those familiar faces again. There’s something solidifying about big family gatherings. Like we somehow know we’re all in this life together, however we can be. I can’t really put my finger on it, but I like it.

**UPDATE 1:00 pm**

My nose is a terrible place to be right now. I’m longing for a day without congestion and snot. My sandwich tasted like cardboard. I’m doing fine though. Plodding along as best I can. I just used about half the roll of TP I keep in the car clearing out my sinuses. And that was a limited success. I have a lot of things on my mind. I’ve been thinking of writing them all out, but I don’t really have the clarity of thought to manage such a thing. At least not right now. I’m lost in a sea of stuffiness and boogers. I’ll see you all later.

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