Evaluative

I find that a lot of the random impulses to do things I experience should be filtered. I’m not about to go do half (or more) of the ideas that pop into my head. A lot of these things are undoubtedly destructive in nature, and why they expect to get listened to is beyond me. I guess it’s not fair to judge my baseline mental state on these momentary reactions because they are not indicative of any form of thoughtful process, and that’s what counts. I generally wish I didn’t have to deal with these impulses, but I figure it’s all the more a test of my willpower.

I think loads of destructive things: should I go get some junk food to eat? Should I sleep in until I feel like waking up? I find that there are many more that clearly lead to a path of indulgence and disregard for my wellbeing. Should you go read Jax’s blog and find out what she’s up to? I’ve come to understand that giving in to these impulses hurts me more in the long run, because the penalties of guilt and regret are soon to haunt me after acknowledging one of these impulses. I know better than to go do something now that I will wish I hadn’t done later on. I will feel bad that I ate junk food and gained weight. I will not be sated from my emotional turmoil by reading about Jax’s life. In the end, I will feel down and worse overall for having caved.

So I try to squelch these impulses with a judgement before they ever gain much traction as an idea. If they gather support, they might get looked at. So I’m sure to not let this happen by issuing a decree that they are toxic or otherwise damaging to the final goal of good mental/physical health. It’s an easy decision to make right at the introduction of the impulse, because the longer it lingers without being judged, the more powerful and influential it becomes. I hope these examples make sense. I struggle with this concept sometimes, do you do something similar? It’s hard to ignore them all. Sometimes I do go get a tasty treat from the corner store. But I do not give in to things I’m sure will lead to more emotional damage. I wonder if you have a coping mechanism in place for your own impulses?

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