Encroaching Cold

A storm is on its way into my part of the world. It will bring cold rain and snow to many parts of the desert southwest.

I’m not doing so great. I feel a heaviness in my heart, and my disposition is gloomy. I feel sad, isolated and lonely. I’m not really interested in rectifying that with a relationship though. It seems like everyone around me is pairing off and finding their partners, while I am not. I don’t want this, but also don’t really like being so alone. I guess I’m complaining.

It’s always a big let-down after Christmas. With all that fun and family reaching a peak, then sliding away. Back to the monotony of life, with its occasional distractions. I am holding on to a few things which still make me happy: I have my rocks in the tumblers which will be done this Sunday. I also have bought myself a French press which I will use daily, I’m sure. I have my family, who are going to be in town for a bit before hitting the road again in the spring. I have my games, which are kept interesting by a vibrant modding community. I have my blog, which I have been trying to post to but found myself rescinding previous posts because they were abhorrent and negative.

I have a lot on my mind. I guess this is part of the process. Everyone at work here is sick or getting sick. I’d rather not go through that. But I may have no choice in this regard. If the bug is going to get me, it will. I’m trying to keep my spirits up, but it’s hard. I’m an effusive guy and I have to put a cork in it most of the time. I have no one in my inner-circle. Everyone who has been in there has later decided they’d rather be somewhere else. I’m the kind of guy who would rather be right than liked. That generally alienates me from most, but also insulates me against the rampant stupidity of the world.

I’ve been trying to write all day. It’s been a struggle to get through, but I am. I will be in work-mode, coffee, work, eat, sleep, coffee, work…

I hope your day is going better than mine.

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