A Goodbye Day

My parents are making a 270 mile (one way) trip up to the foothills of the southern Sierra Nevada tomorrow to go camp near Lake Isabella. They will be gone for more than a week, or until they get bored and decide to drive back to San Diego. I’m going over to my uncle’s house after work today to say goodbye to them. I have enjoyed their uplifting presence in my life for the past month or more. I have had fun watching football games with them, lamenting the end of my fantasy season, and eating good food / making merry.

On the homefront: I’m doing much better, maybe up past 85% today. I can’t really explain the way my mood deteriorated into depression, I just know that it happened, and now appears to be over. I’m no neuroscientist, so the true cause for my descent will remain unknown. But I do know that I have come back from that point, and have mustered my strength for the remaining portion of the week. In the end, my paycheck taking a hit will be one of the few signs left that there ever was a depressive episode.

Today is going to be busy. I’m back in the billing queue, and I expect that it will take over 600 calls today. So some fraction of that will be handed to me, along with a fraction of the 260 or so drive thru and exchange calls we will take. I should be occupied for the first few hours of my shift, and would expect things to slow down around 2 pm or so.

As I sit here writing this (in my truck before my shift starts), raindrops are falling, making that distinctive popcorn popping sound as they collide with my roof. Today the forecast says clear skies, 0% chance of precipitation, high of 77 degrees fahrenheit. So this casual rain is far from expected. There is no cold front or storm cell within 300 miles of my location. Much like my inexplicable brain chemistry, this rain makes no sense.

I hope you all have a good day out there in the world. I’m feeling so much stronger than I did earlier in the week. A truly amazing turnaround. Your support was essential, and I thank you again for that.

**UPDATE 1:00 pm**

My day is roaring by. The longest break I’ve had between calls was less than 90 seconds. I must have over 20 by now. Anyway, I’m doing really good. I’m holding a high level of energy and working hard. It’s been a positive but hectic day.

I am doing fine emotionally. I’ve heard some songs come on the overhead speakers that remind me of Jax, but what predominates these recollections is a sense of genuine disappointment. I didn’t want things to crumble the way they did, but I’m glad she’s not in my life anymore. She is a vastly different person than what I need, and it was a big downgrade to pair myself off with her. Regrettable decisions aside, we were rarely on the same page. I just am really glad she’s not in my life
anymore; just look at me soaring in promising skies! I’m doing better than ever before, and I would never have been able to get here if she hadn’t cheated on me and ended our relationship. I have sad feelings, but more happy ones by comparison.

Back to the grindstone I go. Be well travelers.

**UPDATE 2:00 pm**

So the rumors of discipline and less wholesale tomfoolery are true. They will be dividing us up, rookies with vets, and cutting down on the bullshit things these jokers are doing everyday. A big email went out detailing how we would now be staying on task, and not doing the stupid shit that I have grown so very tired of. These guys try to get by doing as little as possible, and they do their jobs poorly. It’s time this horseshit came to an end, and I welcome the change. Hugely. I know I’ve been busting my ass here everyday, to the best of my abilities. I can’t be faulted for lack of effort. I rarely make mistakes, and follow through on my responsibilities every time. I welcome the age of regulations and order that is to come. Soon there will be no people yelling or laughing or motherfucking loud enough for customers to hear. There will be no watching YouTube videos of monkeys getting their heads bashed open so people can eat their brains. There will be no standing around making rude comments at people who are on the phone doing troubleshooting. Sigh. Do you see the sort of shit I’ve put up with? I can hardly wait for the seating change to take effect. Puns and needles. Stay tuned.

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