Expecting To Fly

What a day blog. First off, apparently most people had today off (Martin Luther King Jr. Day), and therefore, zero traffic. I zoomed, both directions, no snarl whatsoever. Then, work was pretty light, I was well under average today. I may not have even broke the 30s. I was really tired though, so I drank two big coffees today and that perhaps was not a good idea. I had my last one around 1 pm and now that dinner is here I still have a suppressed appetite. But I’m still cooking a flank steak anyway. I need to eat. Can’t drive the boat without a captain.

I’ve been talking to Amanda all day, and I was really nervous for part of it, because I had a big huge reveal about my mistake-laden past and then I didn’t hear anything back for a couple hours. So naturally, I panicked, thinking that she had read what I wrote and been inclined to withdraw. But I was proven wrong by her intelligent, understanding and ultimately sympathetic reply. She too has been through some shit, and she generally accepted me despite all that poop. I was relieved, happy, heck, even joyous that someone could look at the sum of mistakes in my history and still find cause to engage with me. I was both stunned and ecstatic. I’m having a really good time talking with her, and tomorrow night, we meet for the first time. I’m really looking forward to it.

Today I talked to myself a lot and tried to be rational despite all the fun I’m having. My life has been pretty bland lately, and Amanda has come right along and spiced it right up. I have someone insightful and relevant to talk to, and that makes me very content indeed.

Tonight I will trade words with her some more, and continue building a meaningful bond. This is a cause that truly seems worthy of my attention. I long to find a cure for my unending loneliness, and now that I have applied myself to remedying that, progress is being made. In leaps and bounds, even. Have a great night. I know I am.

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