Engage!

Today I will be headed in to work with a smile on my face. I am often left in a pleasing disposition whenever I get a chance to hang around Amanda (which I did for a few hours last night). Her smile and her laugh are like little doses of happy to my otherwise butter-less toast life. I have had a good day off (yesterday) and am ready to go get after it today, in much the same way I have been, by creating new work to do and keeping myself busy while I am on the clock. It’s better for my mental health (and the passage of time) that I keep a bunch of tasks open and in progress; I feel more purposeful, useful and proud when I receive feedback. It’s just good all around policy.

This week I have two important appointments: my therapy session with Margaret on Wednesday morning, and my Psychiatry appointment with Dr. Judge on Friday. I will be relaying good news: my progress towards a healthy and stable life has been solid and steady. I am adding new things to my meager existence as I see it appropriate to do so, or as my health permits. I sometimes wonder if I’m doing ok, like somehow I doubt the good feelings inside me; that they are somehow not real. But I have lots of nagging voices that tell me nasty things, as these are a huge part of how my illness manifests itself in my mind. I have no complaints about my medications: since adding the lithium I have been in a good way, and that was back on November 10th. I have been able to handle my many responsibilities at work and home, while also investing some emotions in Amanda and her son. To me, this all points to a good place, where I will reside in a state of tranquility and have an ally with me to help protect me against rapidly occurring changes in mood. I intend to be healthy, and I reciprocate observations: we are both mentally ill, and the more eyes and ears we have on the scene the better.

 

So blog, I’m about ready to head in to work. I hope you all have a good Tuesday. I will (undoubtedly) be busy.

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