No Nickname

I’m a gibberish person. Sometimes the oddest memory is the one thing I remember clearest, that stands the test of time. I can point to things and utter something that is not entirely english, or have just the word you were looking for. It’s an odd bridge between complete insanity, and clairvoyance. Anyway, everyone has a nickname, because they all have a random memory associated with them that has transcended the ages. My sister Jennifer was christened “JaGnAr” many years ago as the result of not typing her name very good in an email or something. The name has to have every other letter capitalized as well. My mom is “Moo,” as you probably know via a bad joke she made in the car. My dad is “Daddo,” which still counts as a nickname because it is clearly not just “dad.”

So I have named others. Especially those who were close to my heart. I have been in love three times, and had a name for each one. Is go over them, but it’s not anything I particularly enjoy writing about. It’s rather acute, because those names I give derive from such a core of passionate, unending love. They are the result of an assessment, a process by which I have come to understand the sum of who you are and have (thus) given thee a name. If that makes any sense.

So I’m learning a new person, in case that wasn’t already clear. I have begun to see who she is, her past, the pain that is there, the honesty and willingness to be understood. She has a good heart, it just got paired up with the wrong kinda guy, and tried to make the most of it until breaking. He wasn’t interested in comprehending her, or becoming attune to her emotional state. And that’s not compatible with who she is. She yearns to be listen too. I was lucky to find her.

But despite all that, I have drawn a blank in a nickname. So far, there are options, but they sound trite and of poor originality. I need something that pops, that comes right off my tongue and is fun to say. And something that makes me think of her. It has to be working on multiple levels. So I have some work to do. Right now, the well does not run deep. Maybe if we dive further down a name will become apparent. As I fill in the space in the story, I’m sure inspiration will occur. But part of me is actually seriously wondering if it even will. Maybe Amanda is different, and she doesn’t need a nickname. It’s entirely possible. I have not ruled that out as an option. Right now it’s clear that neither alternative has the advantage. If it was truly meant to be then a nickname will just explode with appropriate implications. We will all understand why it is so. But I like Amanda just the way she is. A remarkable beacon of light.

I took tomorrow off, because I would have worked overtime on Sunday if I had put in a full week. They asked someone to step down for a day, no one came forward, I stepped up and took the bullet. They knew is was a double overtime day for me on Sunday, but I said to them: “it’s alright to not get one big paycheck when you know you’re going to be making a lot of money over the years. I want to be here for the long term, and I’m going to make plenty of money with you guys.”

My boss respected that frank assessment. It saved the company money in the long run, and was yet another chance for Faramir, captain of Gondor, to show his quality. I took the hit so that I would gain their respect, and they would know I had done everything I could to help out our team. I want to emerge from the pack as the leader, and the first one in line to advance beyond my current rank.

Time and effort go a long ways. And who knows what will happen?