I stand apart from most these days, and not because I have a superiority complex, but because I just don’t understand most people. It’s voluntary alienation, and I rather prefer it that way. I’m not looking to be cool, or compliant, I’d rather pilot my own ship on an atypical course and heading. It presents fewer complications and limits the need to be dependent on others.
But it was lonely, going it alone. Doable, but isolatory and limiting. I talked to myself a lot, as a result. I didn’t abandon any of my principles when I sought companionship, as this would be the wrong way to approach change. It should be about nourishing and revitalizing life, not compromising its integrity. I needed an answer to the place in my heart that was longing.
Amanda has been amazing: she is relatable, understanding, compassionate, and honest. She has become a valuable friend to me, above all else, and is someone who’s opinions I can trust and respect. But I also love her, and this intamacy fosters a deeper, more primal bond of loyalty and acceptance. There are many reasons for my distinction from the herd, and I doubt Amanda would have noticed me if I were just running along with them. I stand out, and even though I have made some serious mistakes, it is that common denominator that unites us rather than divide us. She sees me, and I see her, and together we make the endless wastes more bearable.
Life can be a lot of calamity wrapped up in unpredictability, but it is that curious gambler that keeps coming back to find out what happens next that I embody. No I don’t lean on faith to explain my reality, I rely on my own senses and logical judgements to explain it. A gambit that is far less troublesome if you have a teammate working with you to sort things out.
Blog, I’m rising to the occasion. I’m doing great and ready for the next twist in the road. Whatever that happens to be. Random though train now off the tracks and on fire, I bid you farewell.