I really love her. This weekend I got to know Amanda better through her acquaintances: Becky, Claudie, Debbie, Maryann and Will. I’ve only heard stories referencing these individuals, but this weekend was all about understanding Amanda better. And the interactions I had with her friends helped me to see her as they saw her, and compare my results to theirs. But I just love her so much. She has been through such hell at times, and now things are different. We’re not alone anymore. I feel rejuvenated by the fountain of her caring. I have lived with great self shame and loathing in the past, but I think Amanda can see that I’m a changed man. I’ve found that I can be a good friend to myself, and trust in who I am in the world. I know how happy she makes me feel. And not for any other reason but that she is looking out for me. She has my back. She’s also a witty person, with a sense of humor and creative talent. Her friends, and the way she blended in with them really helped me see what her past was like, the groups she used to affiliate with, the inside jokes, it all helped me see. I know now how active and vibrant she can be. That depression and illness are terrible burdens. And even despite that, to live a fulfilling life. I just want to bring more happiness into her world.
We compliment each other with our different skill sets. I’m very pleased with my partner blog. Together, we can make an effective team. Because facing mental illness alone is only necessary if your way of expressing it is to drive everyone off. Otherwise, you can pair up with another student of the human condition and protect each other. Two minds working together to prevent depression from starting, or calming each other down from anxiety. It’s hard to do it on your own. But possible. Much preferable to be with someone else.
I’m a happy boy. I have the love of someone special, and I promise to do my best and look out for her whenever possible. I think she’s the kind of soul that can keep me happy and healthy for the long haul. I’m done looking around. I’ve found someone I can trust.