I had a +3.5 most of the day, but it all fell apart at the end of my shift. My supervisors gave 2/3 of the evening shift guys the day off, leaving me as the only call agent in the queue between 5:00 and 6:00 pm. There aren’t an excessive amount of calls IF you have 3 guys handling them. But one guy? I was inundated with time-consuming issues while incoming calls piled up in the queue. The second I was off one call, I was right back on another. Kaiser hopped in to help out because I was floundering. So that +3.5 I had going into the final hour quickly evaporated off and left my brain starved, depleted and done.
I had an evening with Amanda and Tristan, but I was deadpan, listless and tired. We had chicken, rice and salad. It was really nice, but I couldn’t really express much. I was drained of my vital energy, and I must have seemed unhappy to Amanda. In reality, being there with them was the thing I was most looking forward to all day. But I couldn’t enjoy it or prosper much in being there: I was mentally out of gas.
Amanda works so hard. I admire her, for what obstacles she has to clear on a given day. She does it calmly, and with dignity. I can learn a lot from her example.
Tomorrow I go see my therapist, and for once, I don’t really want to talk about me. I want to know what challenges she is facing with her bipolar daughter, and how she is dealing with them. It’s been tough on my parents, seeing my whole world shatter on several occasions. So I can’t imagine that Margaret’s daughter will have a completely benign experience with bipolar disorder. My life is going along fine. I’m taking the right steps and I’m being mindful. I want my therapeutic relationship to go both ways.
Have a good night blog. I’ll see you tomorrow.