138 day average: +3.07
I moved out of my one bedroom apartment and into Amanda’s place. All my excess stuff is stored in a unit, and everything of relevance integrated into the new digs. Boom. Three days of prep, three hours on moving day and done.
But this joy that comes from such a transition is marred by the onset of severe depression. Amanda is in a bad way, and spiraling down into deepening symptoms. Fortunately, we have not been idle. Evasive action has already resulted in several positive steps. She has severed ties with her addictions and enrolled in an outpatient program for the next four weeks. She has an appointment with her psychiatrist tomorrow, as we were on the verge of going to the psych hospital yesterday. She is unable to function at this point. She can’t motivate or distract herself. She sits in the silence and stares at empty space on the wall. It has come to a breaking point for her, and we are making slow progress out of acute despair and into something less hostile.
But this is why we are together. Alone, a degradation of lifestyle into depression might have occurred without being noticed or actively resisted. Together, we won’t let the other perish to symptoms, or become lost to sadness. We are a team, and we never give up on our teammates. Ever. She will get through this, slowly.
Work has been hard, but manageable. My life had been stressful until very recently. Move complete, I feel about 7,000 times better than I did on Friday. All that shit hanging over my head was driving me batty. But all is well and good now. I have to be strong for Amanda right now. We are going to get through this. I love her. I will not let her go.