Today marked some incremental progress out of the depths of depression. I did not feel as acutely bad as I did yesterday, and I took steps to help myself out of despair.
The events of life have been stressful of late, and I feel like I just kinda ran out of mental power earlier this week. I didn’t stay for my entire shift today, and went to go see my doctor. We have decided to increase the Lithium Carbonate by 300 mg. I can’t go any higher on the Geodon or Welbutrin, as they are already at max dose.
My mood is improving naturally, but I don’t want to just assume I am going to continue to feel better. I have been destroyed by my bipolar depression before, and I can’t let that happen again. So I am taking steps to ensure that things do not get out of control.
Amanda has her own wagon of shit to deal with, yet she has still managed to help me figure things out logically. She points out that I shouldn’t care what people at work think of me, because I don’t like them and what they think about me is irrelevant. This is true, yet it is still difficult to go to a place every day where I am ubiquitously hated.
Anyway. Today was better. Not great, but improving slowly.