I came home after struggling through the first hour of my shift. I felt like I was losing control of my emotions. I feigned an emergency excuse and came home. I am alone in the apartment crying, and spiraling down.
I feel tremendously sad. I am detached from the things and people I love, and I feel isolated in my anguish. I tried to text Amanda but she’s not responding. Not that there is much to be done. I’m crushed. Low. I feel devistated somehow, and utterly disregarded. No one wants to be around me unless I’m healthy.
I’m trying to scrape my way out of the hole, but it’s not really working. I can’t shake the sadness in my body. My emotions are jumping and sinking on a whim. Things are precarious.
I’m just going to cry for a while, and maybe vent out some of this terrible energy in my body.