I have had some difficulty with anxiety symptoms tonight. I’m not really thinking about anything that is triggering it, but I feel the physical aspects of it. 

My doctor was too paranoid about me becoming manic because of the Buspar, so she prescribed me less than a full introductory dose. I think this is silly, and coming from un-informed perspective. She should be concerned about the depression, which is the real enemy, not the mania. My downward slides being triggered by severe anxiety. But she didn’t know that. And she also didn’t know I was on 30 mg earlier last year. So I am now going to take the starter dude at 15 mg, up from 10. This is not dramatic change. Not at all. I don’t really feel anything yet, but it will take a few more days to know for sure. I’m not in a crisis or anything, but it needs to be reconsidered. 

Other than that I feel fine. Amanda and I are just sitting around. The evening is drawing to a close. I’m hoping for a good sleep. I had a bit of insomnia last night, woke up very tired this morning. 

10 thoughts on “Then

    • I did get sleep last night. However, my anxiety will probably flare up again once my shift ends and I go home. I get SO wound-up at my job that I have a difficult time letting go. I used to smoke marijuana and that worked perfectly every time. But smoking weed every day is a bad habit, and I shouldn’t have to depend on a PRN to relieve my symptoms. I should be able to cope without that. My anxiety coping is clearly a work in progress.

      • I hear you. It sounds like you have a stressful job? Too much stress obviously doesn’t bode well with those who suffer from any kind of anxiety disorder. My best advice is to get some relaxation techniques under your belt. I know this can be super annoying advice as its not easy learning new skills, but I wish you luck friend.

      • Thanks. Yeah I work in a fast-paced customer service/technical support call center. Time really zooms by but it is very stressful. I have tried holding my head under cold water to force my body to restrict oxygen use to vital organs only when I feel severe muscle agitation, and that works for a while. Also holding an ice cube in my hand will reduce symptoms pretty dramatically. But they do come back sometimes after that. It’s frustrating. But I am practicing mindful breathing and basic meditation as well. It should get better as I become more familiar with how to relax myself.

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