Early Bedtime

by in Mental Illness, Rant and tagged , , , , , ,

I feel like such an old potato. Here I am with blue sky still visible and I’m in my bed trying to go to sleep. Today’s energy is utterly gone. Battery at 0%. I tried to entertain myself with preseason football but it was boring. Then I tried to game on my computer, and after I had done my garrison maintenance in WoW, I was  through. It’s coming up on the last day of a particularly intense week, and my brain is mushafied. 

The same is true of Amanda. We’ve barely talked. I guess we’re just too out of it. We did a good amount of discussion last night, so it’s not like there is a pattern of disconnect. She is putting in her first 40 hours in over 2 months. I can’t imagine how exhausted she must be. 

I think I’m just out of gas. I’m sitting here thinking some negative thoughts. I feel isolated. I have alienated people who were at one time close to me. My parents are halfway across the country. My best friend (other than Amanda) lives 1,200 miles away. I don’t have anyone at work I can talk to, but maybe that is a good thing. They’re pretty stupid. But anyway, I’m trying to get away from this feeling by going to sleep. Hopefully this doesn’t fuck up my schedule. 

17 thoughts on “Early Bedtime”

  1. Sometimes you’e just got to sleep. When you’re tired, you need to take care of yourself. It’s not like you’re doing it all the time. I’ll be the first to admit that some days you just blow through energy quicker than others.

  2. It has been a mentally draining week for you-the incident at work didn’t help, and having such a productive conversation with Amanda can wipe you out.
    I wouldn’t say you’re an old potato-I highly doubt your wrinkly and smooshy-but rather a potted plant lacking enough sunshine and water this week.
    It’s Friday, tomorrow is the weekend, you and Amanda can enjoy whatever you guys want.
    You and Zoe with you WoW…I wanna play, but I fear I’ll need another computer just to handle it. :)

    • Thanks for the encouragement! WoW is a lot of fun, especially if you have been into role playing games in the past. Despite the MMO label, it can be played solo for most of the way. I’ve been in since 2007 or so. Been pretty awesome the whole way.

      • You’re welcome. Florida used to play while we Skyped, and it looked to fun. I’ve never played any game like it. Zoe plays too-it’s so cool to read when she talks about her characters. My uncle plays/played, and at one point in a visit he had an entire setup that took up half of gramma’s table! Mind boggling. I have heard nothing but awesomeness about WoW. Now to just get the funds for a new computer and play time! lol

      • It doesn’t demand much graphically. The setting can be turned down to allow it to run on mediocre laptops even. I really like gear. Equipping my character with cool looking stuff is one of my favorite parts. That, and going to all the different lands in the world they created. It’s subscription based, but to me, that means they are constantly working to keep the game wiring and bug free. If you ever consider playing, go Horde. Alliance is stupid. Goody two shoes. I play on Garrosh, a low population server with no apology for players from opposing factions to kill each other on sight.

      • It has the potential to create an obsession. A lot if people don’t know where to draw the line with it. But 6 million subscribers agree it’s lots of fun. I skype with friend while doing it as well.

      • We should totally skype sometime. I’m “bipolasaurusrex” if you want to add me. But you have to let me know ahead of time when you want to chat, I’m not on consistently, only by appointment. Hehe.

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