I have been, and will continue to be, honest about my scores on these daily posts. What do I gain by misleading myself or others? I’ve had a very stable week, with every day but Monday (a 4) registering a 3.5. But what does it mean? Well, the score could swing between +10 (mania) or -10 (suicidal depression) and I have cone to consider scores in the +2 to +4 range to be healthy. Zero is the middle, but that score implies balance but not energy. I like to be charismatic and enthusiastic, and s zero is not that. So my scores should have a normal range above zero but no higher than 4. Above 4 and there is a potentially dangerous amount of energy being burned. I have had some days down at -3, and a few at +4.5… but outliers do not represent a pattern. As soon as a pattern forms, action must be taken. I hope that helps you understand why I do this every day, and for the last 193 consecutive. It helps me make sense of my illness.
Today my doctor raised my Buspar to 20 mg daily, which I think is great. The medication has already done some good in helping me suppress anxiety symptoms, but there was definite room for improvement. Things should be looking even more stable than they have been.
It’s nearing the end of a long week. I feel pretty tired. I’m a little short on words tonight.