Dont we all have to make a choice, at some point, about how we are going to walk through this life? It’s not a thing that is decided in a day, but a culmination of lots of steps in a general direction. The way we choose how also demonstrates a pattern of behavior, which can help guide us to change. 

I would say that I have not managed to be anything close to consistent in my choice of road. Frankly, the only pattern I have demonstrated so far has been one of failure. Being so unstable for so long makes it hard to  head in any one direction and just go. I envy the way some people just know exactly what they want to be and go for it. But, in my own way, I have taken many perilous paths and learned a great deal by walking them. If I had not done so, I may not have grown into the experienced person I am. I didn’t plan on it, but I went astray nonetheless. Sometimes, you have to find the one good thing that came of disaster, even if that thing is simply not to go that way again. 

At the same time that I envy the determination of others, I pity them too. I am a complex person because of my failures; I have been to the dark place and I know what it is like. I can sympathize with others in a way that is enriched by my own comprehension of suffering. Some may not get the chance to embrace failure, or they may be shielded from it. To me, that is like biting the apple, but not tasting anything but the sweetness of it. Without the bitterness, the apple is not really whole, it is a poor facsimile. 

Roads are meant to be taken, not avoided. In my life, I’ve tried all kinds of things, and I can’t say that I enjoyed all of it. We need to understand pain; we are incomplete without knowing the spectrum of experience. Failure is not a disparaging mark, but an opportunity to try a new road, and see where it takes you.  

Be mindful of your journey, and remember that as long as you can put one foot in front of the other, your destiny is yours to decide.