I am glad to be making new Christmas memories with Amanda. I value her immensely, and am grateful for the stability she brings my world. It got me thinking about how much like a mirror I can be in relationships. I imagine myself walking on eggshells with my exes. Any true honesty or revealing conversations would incite hostilities. Amanda and I can talk about anything without fighting. I think it’s because she has no inclination to argue as a means of coping with feelings. She just tells me what’s on her mind. I even ask her periodically if she has anything she wants to bring up to me, and we have a frank discussion. Things are strong between us. We saved each other, and we could not hope to be as far along the road to recovery if not for our friendship. I see what a rare and beautiful person she is.
We had another good talk today. We shared our hurt feelings left behind by exes. The lament unrequited. But we both know that we don’t live in that past anymore. We are a part of a curious new future. There are many fun things still left to do.
All in all I’m doing good. I can’t tell you how rewarding it feels to be grounded in reality with Amanda. She said that she gets a lot of strength from me, which is funny, because I could say the same about her. I guess we can be happy being rocks for each other. Sounds like a plan to me.