Finite

Score: +3.5

It has been another fun weekend. My parents came over for dinner and we all had a good time. We did a great job cleaning the house even though the microwave decided to take a shit. All in all, it was an up-trending series of days from a logistical standpoint. I found that my energy level went up as the days went by, but my thought processes deteriorated as I got closer to the end of break time. Sunday blues. 

I had a good session with Margaret this weekend. I felt especially productive talking with her about how I talked myself through some traumatic memories that came back up at me. The flashbacks actually happened a couple of times, once while I was doing dishes and again just before I fell asleep. Sometimes I just lay in bed trying to clear my thoughts but I can’t, and I stay awake. That’s when those negative thoughts can get at me. In the silence, they wait. This can go on for hours sometimes. Eventually, I get to tired to continue thinking about things. I have tricks to try to get myself to go to sleep: I play orchestral music in my head or try imagining something vivid and narrate actions for myself. It’s the spinning thoughts that keep me awake. 

We have the boy next week. House is in tip top shape for him. Friday is our one year annerversary. We were thinking about staying a night at the Westin downtown and ordering some killer room service. Party night. We have a lot to celebrate, this last year has been pretty fucking good, considering all the trials we went through. We never fought each other and no one gave up when things got hard. We pushed through and got on to the next thing. I’m proud of us. 

Have a good night blog. It’s Monday tomorrow. Sigh. 

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