Breathe In

Score: +3.5

Productive day off today as we cleaned the apartment top to bottom. It only took a couple of hours, and everything smells nice again. I like doing work to clean up. It’s rewarding and makes me feel responsible for my space. 

I’m sad that I only got one real day off this week, and the same story next weekend when I work Sunday. The next two weeks are going to be a good test for me to see if I can go to work every day and feel good. I really think, as of tonight, that I am certain to go back full steam ahead, and hammer out next week without hesitation or absence. I am confident that I will wake up in the morning and be ready for a full day’s work. I like what I do there, I feel involved and needed. I do work at a high level on greatly important issues both within the company and from our clients. I handle all Einstein’s Bros Bagles and Caribou Coffee for all of North America. I have good relationships with the liaisons for each company, and the project managers they work with for my company. I’m their guy who gets shit done. I also work with corporate Raising Cane’s and handle all their exchange requests and dispatches. That’s just some of it… the list of people I work with goes on, and changes from time to time. Good evidence here for me to feel relevant. 

I did my taxes, and I should be getting $1800 back. Not bad for a low income fella such as I am. There is this stunning Amatrine crystal on eBay I want to get. It’s fucking gorgeous. Deep purple and red with shattered flecks of orange.  It had me from the thumbnail. It’s really expensive though. Really. 

Amanda and I both ordered new E-Cigs from this American vape company. I have been afraid of the possibility of incorrectly charging our lithium-ion batteries with non standard chargers and having the batteries blow up in our hands or near our faces or something. It’s happened a lot, and mostly because no one uses the correct charger for their battery and don’t follow the basic safety procedures. I personally don’t trust the setup we have now, so we went ahead and ordered new ones to be safe. That way, they come from a reputable manufacturer and we get the right equipment for our needs. 

Amanda is hoping, like me, to get off to a good start tomorrow. She missed all of last week, and most of the week before. I know she wants to make herself go back, because she has pride and doesn’t like being out of comission. It would frustrate me too if I was unable to do what I needed to. I have been where she is and it is terrible. Paralyzing. Moving beyond it takes time, and a change of environment. Fortunately, we have started the process of getting s second opinion on Amanda’s meds, and maybe an appointment with a new doctor soon. She needs to have her whole medical situation overhauled. Using antipsychotics to be the primary treatment for major depression is not working out. 

Well blog, I filled today up with stuff. Tomorrow it’s back after it. Here’s hoping I wake up feeling ok.