I was right not to doubt when I posted last night. I had a rock solid day today, got through my shif uninhibited and felt positive by the end. I did have some bad feelings come up, but then they went away. Like an emotional burp.
I spent time answering phone calls today because the ticketing systems were so up to date.
I find that I move my hair out of my eyes about 8,000 times a day. Having hair this long is pretty new to me. I’m usually a buzz cut guy, but no more. Now the mission is pony tail. So I’m still getting used to life from behind my partially closed curtains. Good thing I have wide-rimmed glasses, because they consistently deflect my hair’s incursions into my field of view.
We got our new e-cigs today and mine is unbelievably rad. It hits like a semi and looks like a bazooka. I feel much more secure now with this unit, and it’s up to me to make sure it gets treated properly.
My life seems to be going good. Things are hard for Amanda and I right now, but we haven’t given up and won’t. I know we can get to a better place. We are in the business of small steps, and to do that every day is all the victory we need. As long as the forward march continues, we are going to be ok. I love Amanda, and I have her back through whatever happens.
It’s rewarding… being there for someone. It’s a strong and quiet type of reward, because I know in my heart that I’m doing a good thing. I have no ulterior motive or manipulation in store. This is my devotion, pure and simple. I am committed to this woman and I think we can live happily for a long time. I intend to get her smile back, because she deserves it. We all need to feel happy in our lives. It’s what I live for.
I hope turbulent heartbreak thoughts are not going to be a problem this week. I’m just trying to get in the flow. The week has only just begun.