It’s been a busy one day weekend and I am glad to be at the end of it. Sometimes you have to push through really tough challenges because that’s what you must do to advance your life. I do things because I have pride and I would be ashamed if I turned my back on a responsibility. It’s a deep-rooted issue for me. I must be able to be honest with myself and not live in a delusion.
I’m feeling more stable even though this weekend has been trying. I think the 1200 mg of lithium might be finally showing signs of helping. I feel ready for the work week as I sit here writing this. It’s Sunday night and I am in a positive place.
We had the boy all weekend, and holy shit did he want to play with me? Um, just every second I wasn’t doing something. I like the interaction because he’s a funny kid. His games are a bit one-dimensional but that’s something that will grow with time. He has yet to fully understand how powerful his imagination can be.
Amanda and I have been good. We have been talking and sharing since she spent a couple nights at her parents place detoxing. I think she has a better handle on things now, as she wanted. She’s going to moderate her drinking and keep it to weekends. She needs help during the week to get going and being suppressed by alcohol is not a good way to do so. I see us steadily heading in the right direction. We stumble on the way there but we are both moving on.
I’m trying to stabilize after my world nearly capsized. I got out if the dark place and back in a more encouraging direction. I just hope my positive feelings carry over into tomorrow.