Remember those Jax dreams I had mentioned a few posts back? Margaret shined some light on things by stating that the memories/dreams aren’t about inherently bad things, but rather, the opposite. They had positive perspectives, no fighting, just love. I spun my dreams as bad things because it reminded me of old dead emotions that hurt. I still ache because of her. All the while my mind is wondering how something benign had turned into such a force of devastation.
Well I’m all about alternating points of view. It was nice to have some insight into these memories and dreams. I think that I will handle things differently the next time this happens. I can learn to accept remembering or inventing things about Jax as long as they don’t poison me with pain. I don’t have any anger anymore, just sadness… but it’s the ache of loss that hurts the most. Since these memories don’t mention sadness or loss, I intend to take them as is.
Well, that’s it for me tonight.
Neurochemically Challenged 
Dreams are so strange. I had a dream last night about a guy I was with briefly years ago. In the dream he was in party mode and I stopped hi and said hi and is eyes twinkled. They seemed to say well look at you and how you have changed- kind of thing. Then he asked who I am and if I was there for his party and disappeared. My whole dream turned into a mission to make him want me and confess he knew me ….. The positives: He wasn’t worth my time. He was only interested in his own experiences. It didn’t work because he was not the one. He hadn’t even begun to find himself. He didn’t even know if I was a friend at his party. Good idea to focus on th positives .:) Thanks
Great comment! Dreams are more random than logical, so I try not to read very far into the imagery. Trouble is, there are usually neurochemical consequences for said nightly adventures.