Remember those Jax dreams I had mentioned a few posts back? Margaret shined some light on things by stating that the memories/dreams aren’t about inherently bad things, but rather, the opposite. They had positive perspectives, no fighting, just love. I spun my dreams as bad things because it reminded me of old dead emotions that hurt. I still ache because of her. All the while my mind is wondering how something benign had turned into such a force of devastation.
Well I’m all about alternating points of view. It was nice to have some insight into these memories and dreams. I think that I will handle things differently the next time this happens. I can learn to accept remembering or inventing things about Jax as long as they don’t poison me with pain. I don’t have any anger anymore, just sadness… but it’s the ache of loss that hurts the most. Since these memories don’t mention sadness or loss, I intend to take them as is.
Well, that’s it for me tonight.