Even though things are tough right now, I’m still keeping my optimism in full. I believe hard things are tests of our will to fight on and survive. I have failed these tests many times but vowed to improve. My positive attitude keeps me stable, and centers me even when things are out of control. There is happiness to be found even in the darkest of times. And even sadness or the ache of loss are a part of our human experience, and vital to who we are. We distinguish between pain and joy, and the contrast makes each one so much more real. We need to hurt, in order to appreciate laughing sometime later.
Amanda is struggling. She’s not been into work in a while. Her symptoms are severe. She’s as depressed as I’ve ever seen her, and it concerns me. I don’t know that there’s much I can do to help, but I’ve offered my unending support and loyalty through her trials. I will be right there with her. I think things are still going to trend downward for a while until she can get in to see her psychiatrist. Treatment plan not working. Help.
My dad is undergoing a SECOND spinal surgery tonight as a new MRI indicated his spinal cord was still being pinched. He lost feeling in his left hand during rehab earlier this week. I am going by to see him tomorrow morning during my lunch break.
I’m hoping for the best, but things are tough right now.