It was a brutal and exhausting day, and it has brought into focus my whole situation. I’m tired of making shit money and barely surviving after giving every last scrap of effort I have. I don’t give half-assed effort, as this incurs shame in place of pride. So today I asked again for a raise, but this time, I am planning on them saying no and me finding a new job. If they pony up and offer me something decent I will stay, but I get the feeling they don’t appreciate what I bring. Or, if they do, they might not want to reward me for it. This is a corporate entity, and I am expendable. But I know for a fact that there isn’t anyone who is going to fill in for me the way I did. I got shit done, and quickly.
So it’s really on them to come up with something, and soon. I’m applying for jobs every day, and I will continue to do so until I’m where I want to be. I want to move with Amanda to a house that we share and start our lives there. We were both so excited, and I feel like I smashed that enthusiasm with the stark reality of my salary. I can’t contribute what I need to to advance our lives. However, I am hoping to change that.
So the wheels are turning on my future. I’m hopeful the easiest solution will be the one that resolves, and life can move forward unperturbed. I’m ready for a challenge if that’s what it takes.
Wish me luck blog. I’m very prepared to have my dreams dashed and hopes crushed by the merciless machine of corporations.