Score: +2.5

Hello blog. I have been pondering my current situation, and marveling at how vastly different it is from any other point in my life. I have been in a truly stable place for three years, and have enjoyed unprecedented good mental health. The meds I’m on are working great, and I am generally positive about things. I mean, I’m not unrealistic or delusionally happy or anything. Being stable has caused me to think more practically. I try to have a process and slow things down. I find this helps prevent situations from getting out of hand. But even my emotions are regular, not all hopped-up on neurochemicals. In reflection, I find I don’t have much to complain about. 

So that’s where the dirt comes in. I have to talk to myself sometimes and give myself a firm kick in the ass in order to get where I need to go. I suffer, and I get all pudding-brain, but that’s life, bub. It’s not easy to get what you want. You have to fight constantly, and do your best to gain ground. I have my moments of weakness. I try to keep the distance between them far, as I have been lately. I’m coming up on a full month without a missed day. Sometimes I just have to tell myself that I can do it! That I can get right back out there and go for it. Scrape your knee? Rub some dirt on it and go get ’em there, choppy. 

Sometimes a good thump is just what I need. Even if it has to come from me.