Looming

Do you ever get this terrible feeling like bad things are about to happen? Today the feeling nearly flattened me. I struggled then and now. I try to put the thoughts out of my head but to no avail. I even try to process logically, but it just comes back. I don’t know how to quantify the anxiety. I just feel crippled. 

I’m here in bed after doing some exercise. Getting my blood pumping helped. I feel less edgy. I just want today to be over, but it’s too soon for that. Sun is still up, despite how tired I feel. It’s hot too, but not as bad as yesterday. I think I am going to spend more time on the elliptical. 

I’m swimming in a sea of feelings, some rising to crest, others pulling down into troughs. I just want this to stop. 

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2 thoughts on “Looming

  1. Would this go with your +2 today? We know that the anxiety drives the feeling of ‘what if, when, how?’ And logically we know, but physicaologically our bodies betray us…some days (like today) it’s o to throw the towel in on the day and try again tomorrow. It was the first down day in a long time. Good job.

    • Thanks. Yeah the 2 is a continuation. I continue to feel less than 2 at this point. It’s been a trying day, and I expect there will be other days like this. I just try to cope as best I can by rationalizing and calming myself down. Anxiety has a trigger-grip on me at times like this. I feel it squeeze me with panic, then release. It’s uncomfortable. Needless to say.

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