Chatterbox Brain

I’m having a tough time separating from my anxiety. I feel like a tree full of angry monkeys. It’s hot too, so getting comfortable has been an issue. When I can’t drift off peacefully, my mind scrambles to fill the void. In the end, it’s a lot like radio static; it’s ever-present and causes the mind to implode the longer it is listened to. 

In other news, I’m still marveling over my 203 point word I dropped on the AI in Scrabble. Both triples, a Q, and a bingo. That’s how we do it.

I have been talking to Will. He has been helping me with some moral support. Even though he is far away, he still takes time to talk to me and help me figure things out. I’m glad he is still my friend, after all these years.

I have friends from my past who I have largely disconnected from. They have their own lives; they still aren’t scratching around for meaning like I am. They have found their homes, while I continue to build mine. I really don’t have much in common with them anymore, but I do try to keep alive the connections we do have. I don’t want to loose what little bond remains, but I’m afraid I will in time. I have work to do nurturing my old friendships, once I get my own show together. I still have a ways to go. But someday, I do want to be functional and have lots of people in my circle. 

I’m trying to go to bed. Wish me luck. 

2 thoughts on “Chatterbox Brain

  1. I hope you were able to sleep :) I understand about having friends and being in different places in life. It’s difficult to keep the bond. What I’ve found is that even with good friends sometimes there are periods where you are in sync and sometimes there are periods where you have grown apart. It’s the trying that matters :)

    • And I haven’t had the energy to try all that hard. This is my fault. But recognizing areas to improve is the first step.

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